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Doughnut Party Champion L: Victory is Not Assured!

Head Coach Kevin C.

Former head coach of Club DNA is back on top with a new team, Victory is Not Assured. He edged out pitchfork76er’s, our predicted champion, in a low-scoring Superbowl that had little impact on the leaderboard.

This halts Omshine’s streak at three championships. But it also means that we have had only two winning head coaches in the past 5 years.  C’mon rookies, time to step up!

Here’s how it all ended up:

2016 super bowl final bar chart

2016 super bowl final line chart

See you all next year!

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Superbowl L Doughnut Party Cheat Sheet

The Superbowl is in just a few hours, and to give you something to look for in between the commercials, here’s a cheat sheet on the players who could make the difference in the Doughnut Party.

First let’s look at the current top 4 teams in our league:

2016 top 4

See above for each team’s multiplier going into the Superbowl, current points, and predicted final points according to the DPSBPM (Doughnut Party Superbowl Prediction Model).

Here are the players who could be the difference-makers for these teams:

pitchfork76er’s picks: CJ ANDERSON.  He’s got him at 4x, and no one else in the top 4 has him.

The Sneaky Llliiizzzaaarrrddd!!!: DEVIN FUNCHESS at 3x, no one else has him.

Victory Is Not Assured: does not have any unique players.  But, he or she does have the most points… for now.

Awkwardo: MIKE TOLBERT and COREY BROWN- only at 2x, but no one else has either player.  Also, TED GINN at 4x; pitchfork’s got him, but only at 2x.

Just because of past history, and because he has the highest multiplier in the league (26x), I also took a look at ominousunshine. He only has 459 points at the moment, but he has some potential breakout players that don’t appear on the rosters of the top 4: DEMARYIUS THOMAS 3x; EMMANUAL SANDERS 2x.

All 5 of these teams have CAM NEWTON and PANTHER’S D, so those are not going to be the deciding factors.

Good luck everyone!

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2015 Award Ceremony

The excitement was palpable at the Sixth Annual Doughnut Party Award Ceremony and Champagne Brunch last Sunday. The assembled crowd whispered reverently as DP legends made their way across the threshold at Doughnut Party Headquarters. Former Rookies of the Year awesomeawesomawesome guacamole and Pitchfork76ers strolled in with the casual grace of elite athletes. Season 1 Champion Son of Sanford and Son (née Fattpigg) hushed the crowd as he entered the facility. TitleIXForce was seen whispering conspiratorially with mystery rookies Fit and Fine and jacobsmarley as Om-Shine cut beignets like they were underperforming wide receivers. And the food! We all have our work cut out for us in the offseason.

For those of you who missed it, here’s the award presentation by the Dr. of Footballology:

And here’s what some of the pre-ceremony preparations looked like:


Doughball Found to be Under-inflated

During a routine pre-game inspection the Official Football of the Doughnut Party, colloquially known as the Doughball, was found to be under-inflated. Way, way under-inflated. It was softer than a pillow.

Given the Doughnut Party Equipment Maintenance Protocols currently in effect, it is possible that the ball has been in this condition for the entire playoffs, and maybe for the whole NFL season.

What impact has this had on Doughnut Party competition? There is no way to know for sure. But fortunately the issue was discovered by league officials in time to correct it for the Superbowl. Nik B, head coach of Ominousunshine, personally re-inflated the ball to meet league specifications, to the extent that those are known or exist.

Nik B and the Doughball
Nik B carefully restores the Doughball to game-ready condition, just in time for the Superbowl.

2015 Conference Championship Results

The Seahawk’s miracle comeback last Sunday was good news for one Doughnut Party team in particular.

But before we dig into the details, let’s just look at the standings. Here’s the leaderboard following the Conference Championship games:

2015 conference bar chart

Son of Sanford and Son is in the top spot. The Benchmark teams have fallen to the middle of the pack, proving that the DP Head Coaches are smarter that some dumb algorithm. (More about algorithms later.)

But as we have all learned through brilliant insight or painful experience, or both, points are not as important as multipliers in this league. Here’s how the multipliers look going into the Superbowl:

2015 Superbowl Multiplier

Once again, paulplaceholder is on top with the All-Seahawks team. He has a perfect multiplier score of 32: 8 players at 4x. Om-shine is next with 28, followed by Awkwardo at 26 and Son of Son of Sanford and Son with a 25 multiplier.

So like we did last week, let’s look at the leaderboard sorted by multiplier:

2015 Conference Bar Chart by MultiplierHmmm.

The Dr. of Footballology has devised an algorithm for predicting the final scores for each team in the league. I’m sure he’ll explain how it works in the next podcast. Suffice it to say, it is an calculation based on a team’s past performance and current multiplier, and it predicts the outcomes for the next game. Since the next game is the final game, it predicts the overall winner in this case.

Based on the Dr. of Footballology’s new algorithm, here is the predicted final leaderboard:

2015 Conference Predicted Final ScoreOh no!  Ominousunshine again?

So that you can see what would have to happen for the predicted runner-ups to prove the Dr. wrong and take the title, here are the Conference rosters for the top 5 teams:

3-peat?Anything can happen!

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VIP Head Coaches Visit Doughnut Party Headquarters!

Here’s what the scene looked like in the Studio at Doughnut Party Headquaters during the last Podcast recording session:

Pundits Preparing
Pundits preparing at DPHQ. Has this much analytical brainpower ever before been assembled in one location?  Clockwise from left we have Bluewalls, the Dr., Pitchfork76ers, and Gretchenisdaboss.

Divisional Weekend Results 2014

This weekend slimwitte’s picks rocketed into first place on the strength of his 49ers + Marshawn Lynch lineup. Y.A. Tittle is in second place with a 100% ‘9ers team.

Most improved this week is lenaisawesome’s picks. Here’s what the leaderboard looks like:

2014 divisional weekend line chart

Bar Chart

Three teams have perfect 3x multipliers for all of their players for the conference championships next weekend: Y.A. Tittle (who is currently in second place) Gever’s Picks (currently in 3rd place, tied with outofthefryingpan) and Ominousunshine (last years champ). It starting to get interesting!